Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
