im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
