Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize