Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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