she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
