I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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