my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
We got so high we made milksteak
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
