just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
