my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
