Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I don't deserve a penis
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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