I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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