I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
