But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
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