i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
the condom got lost in my hair
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
