even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
