I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
