his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize