Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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