Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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