Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
