You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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