you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
