I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
