i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
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