Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
