I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
