Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
