I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
