was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
