then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
