Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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