Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
