You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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