the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
