he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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