hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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