I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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