Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The adults are the big ones right?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
