even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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