He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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