I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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