told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize