Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
