Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
