My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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