How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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