420 ftw
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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