How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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