Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
