they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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