i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
