I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
