She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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