How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
i think im in europe. pls send help
as a side note pls kill me
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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