At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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