): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
