I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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