jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize