it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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