just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
