I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
it glows. i had to have it.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
