is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
