Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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