I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
