I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
