Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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