No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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