i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
