hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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