You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
