I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
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