I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
