I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
