come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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