You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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